Maintaining equality in coaching

Equality is a core component of the coaching relationship. Equality is fostered as coaches and clients share responsibility for the coaching processes and the process of learning. Coaches are largely responsible for the major processes of listening, questioning and fostering accountability, while clients are responsible for reflecting, taking action and taking responsibility. In this way, equality is maintained in the coach-client relationship.

Equality is also fostered through reciprocal learning in coaching sessions. As clients make discoveries, so too do their coaches. This is the nature of true curiosity. Clients are expected to discover their own answers, and this happens best when coaches truly do not know the answers to the questions they ask of their clients. Coaches and clients discover the answers together, thanks to the co-creative coaching partnership. This process also supports the creation of acceptance and non-judgement. By inviting clients to become involved in the coaching process and to discover their own answers, coaches are simply not required to make judgements.

Another aspect of maintaining equality in the coach-client relationship involves the creation of a unique balance of distance and intimacy.

As coaches, we need to be willing to show and share our personal sides when we consider it beneficial to our clients. Effective coaching conversations are warm, with the presence of emotion and there is a strong sense of honesty shared between coaches and clients. It is for this reason the coach-client relationship can be described as intimate.

On the other hand, distance supports the processes of coaches listening, questioning and fostering accountability effectively, while friendliness and intimacy increases client trust in coaches and being honest, reflecting, taking action and taking responsibility. Therefore, the equal balance of distance and intimacy, in turn, supports the shared and equal process of coaching and learning.

Despite the focus on equality throughout the coaching relationship, equality is generally perceived to be greater toward the end of coaching relationships. Coaches tend to employ more direction at the start of coaching, and gradually, through the process of coaching, the sense of equality is strengthened as clients become more aware of their role in the coaching process and begin to take responsibility by self-questioning, listening to themselves and holding themselves accountable. As a result, clients develop the ability to self-coach to some degree, and further their own self-learning in the absence of their coach.

Reference:

Griffiths, K. (2008). Discovering, applying and integrating self-knowledge: A grounded theory study of learning in life coaching (Ph.D). Centre for Learning Innovation, Queensland University of Technology.