Blog

The updated ICF Code of Ethics highlights more clearly than ever how confidentiality, roles and relationships require careful attention in every coaching partnership. When the client is also part of your personal world, each of these considerations becomes significantly harder to uphold. Every coach knows that the relationship is the container that makes coaching work. When that relationship already exists, the container is shaped long before the session begins. Even with the best intentions, it becomes challenging for both coach and loved one to maintain the openness, neutrality and freedom that underpin an effective coaching partnership. When personal relationships spill into the coaching space This reality has been brought home to me more than once. At different points in my coaching career, members of my extended family have reached out for my support. In one case, I referred them immediately to another coach, and the experience was invaluable. They received timely, impartial support and were able to move forward decisively in ways that my personal relationship with them might have unintentionally inhibited. In another situation, I offered only one or two sessions, carefully limiting the engagement from the outset. Even within the first session, it became clear why that boundary was needed. Years of shared history had shaped how they saw me and what they were willing to disclose, and I found myself aware of how their decisions might affect others in the family. These dynamics reminded me how easily a coaching conversation can become entangled with long held patterns, roles and expectations, and how this can affect our ability to demonstrate the Core Competencies we practise. Nine ICF ethical standards at risk Coaching a loved one is not as simple as it may seem. In fact, it puts no fewer than nine ICF ethical standards at risk. These include the coach’s responsibility to: 2.1 Confidentiality Maintain the strictest level of confidentiality with all parties involved, regardless of the role I am fulfilling. When coaching someone you also interact with in a family or social setting, it becomes difficult to distinguish what was heard in a coaching session from what is already known informally, which can leave you second guessing what you can safely say in everyday interactions and increase the risk of unintentionally disclosing or alluding to something that emerged in the coaching space. 2.2 Information agreements Have a clear agreement about what information is exchanged and how it is exchanged among all parties involved during all coaching engagements. Overlapping personal and professional contexts make this far more challenging with a loved one, especially in informal family or social environments where agreed boundaries can easily blur and become difficult to maintain. 3.1 Multiple relationships and conflicts of interest Am aware of and discuss with all involved parties the implications of having multiple agreements and relationships, and the potential for conflicts of interest. This is essential when coaching someone with whom you already share a close relationship, yet long established relational patterns can reappear unexpectedly and complicate the coaching partnership before either of you realise what is happening. 3.2 Managing conflicts of interest Manage conflicts of interest and potential conflicts of interest with coaching client(s) and sponsor(s) through self reflection, coaching agreement(s), and ongoing dialogue. This includes addressing organizational roles, responsibilities, relationships, records, confidentiality, and other reporting requirements. With a loved one, navigating roles, responsibilities and confidentiality becomes a highly active and continuous process because the personal relationship continues in parallel, making boundary management far more demanding than in a standard coaching engagement. This standard makes it clear that coaches cannot coach their romantic partner, as the emotional dynamics and inherent intimacy make maintaining a neutral and professional coaching stance virtually impossible. 3.3 Resolving conflicts of interest Resolve any conflict of interest or potential conflict of interest by working through the issue with relevant parties, seeking professional assistance, or suspending or ending the professional relationship. When the client is a loved one, suspending or ending the coaching relationship can strain the personal relationship and leave the coachee with a less than positive experience of coaching, making resolution emotionally and relationally complex. 3.6 Intimacy and romantic relationships Am mindful of the level of intimacy in the coaching relationship. I do not participate in any sexual or romantic relationship with client(s) or sponsor(s). If I detect a shift in the relationship, I take appropriate action to address the issue or cancel the coaching engagement. This standard makes it clear that coaches cannot coach their romantic partner, as the emotional dynamics and inherent intimacy make maintaining a neutral and professional coaching stance virtually impossible. 3.7 Role clarity Understand that ICF professionals often serve in multiple professional roles based on prior training and/or experience (i.e. mentor, therapist, HR specialist, assessor), and it is my responsibility to disclose to the client when I am acting in a capacity other than the role of an ICF professional. In a family setting, role switching happens easily and often without awareness, making it essential but difficult to recognise when you have slipped into a familiar personal role and to name it explicitly when it occurs. 4.1 Power and status differentials Am aware of and, in partnership with my client, actively manage any power or status differential between us that may be caused by cultural, relational, psychological, or contextual issues. Family relationships often come with deeply ingrained dynamics, and even if both people begin the conversation intending to set them aside, long standing patterns can reassert themselves instantly and undermine the equality needed for effective coaching. 4.2 Recognising limitations Recognize my personal limitations or circumstances that may impair my coaching performance or professional commitments. I will seek support if necessary, including relevant professional guidance. This may require suspending or terminating my coaching relationship(s). This requires a high degree of self awareness, as it means acknowledging when the existing relationship makes it impossible to coach well and being willing to take appropriate action when your capacity to coach effectively is compromised. When love and coaching collide Viewed together, these standards show just how many parts of the coaching agreement become vulnerable when the client is a loved one. Personal history, family roles and relational expectations can slip into the coaching space, and the coach is asked to manage confidentiality, conflicts of interest and power dynamics with exceptional care. The presence of an existing relationship places the integrity of the coaching partnership at risk and makes the work of demonstrating Core Competencies considerably more demanding. Naturally, we want to help the people we care about. Yet the closer the relationship, the easier it becomes for boundaries to blur, for confidentiality to feel complicated and for personal roles to colour the coaching space. The updated Code of Ethics asks us to manage all of these with care, and coaching a loved one makes that responsibility significantly more demanding. Gift Coaching: A Safe Way to Support Someone You Care About This is exactly why ReciproCoach runs Gift Coaching rounds. They allow you to give someone you care about the opportunity to receive coaching without taking on the risk or complexity of coaching them yourself. Your loved one is coached by your assigned ReciproCoach, and in return you coach the loved one of another coach. It is also not unusual for Gift Coaching engagements to evolve into continuing paid relationships. ReciproCoach Gift Coaching rounds happen twice a year, in December and April, with registrations for the next round closing in just a few weeks. Registrations close Sunday, 14 December. Please ensure your chosen recipient is willing and able to participate, and understands that they will receive four sixty minute sessions in exchange for you providing four sessions to another coach’s loved one. Overlapping personal and professional contexts make this far more challenging with a loved one, especially in informal family or social environments where agreed boundaries can easily blur and become difficult to maintain.

It is widely recognized that learning sits at the heart of coaching, yet many of us have never looked closely at the learning theories that quietly shape how we work. These theories underpin our coaching philosophy, which, in turn, guides our practice. For the first time, coaches are being called not only to consider their coaching philosophy, but to clearly articulate it. The recently released ICF 2025 Core Competencies place this front and center, and the ability to “describe one’s coaching philosophy” (3.01) is now a coaching competency. It is, therefore, an especially relevant time to reflect on not just what we do in coaching, but on what kind of learning we are assuming when we do it. The topic of this issue of Coaching Research in Practice is close to my heart. It reviews a paper that cites my own research into the process of learning in coaching and highlights four dominant learning theories underpinning coaching, revealing how each one can lead you to coach the very same client challenge in very different ways. As you read, you may begin to recognize signs that reveal your implicit coaching philosophy, as well as that of others you have experienced, and you will have the opportunity to make a more conscious choice about the philosophy that informs your practice. Read full article here: https://reciprocoach.com/en/coaching-research/196

It's well known that receiving mentoring on your coaching sharpens your skills. Less known is that giving mentoring to other coaches sharpens them even more. At ReciproCoach, we recognise that the best coaches aren't just mentored — they mentor. And we've built on this philosophy to create a true win–win: we train coaches to mentor, and in doing so, make quality mentoring available to more coaches. When coaches start mentoring other coaches, a real shift happens in their development. They begin to see coaching through a different lens. They start noticing the subtle differences between good coaching and great coaching, and how competencies show up in real conversations. We've just finished updating our Mentor Coach Training Program. More than 350 coaches completed the original training, and the updated version builds on nearly a decade of experience developing confidence and competence among mentor coaches, covering the essentials of effective mentor coaching. Because coaching and mentoring aren't the same, and being a great coach doesn't automatically make you a great mentor. Effective mentoring requires its own skillset, structure and mindset. That's exactly why this training exists. We also want to make it accessible for everyone, so we offer a reciprocal option with no financial cost, a paid version without a reciprocal commitment, and an upgrade-only option for those who have completed the last training and want to update their skills. And our Mentor Coach Training is just one part of a complete mentoring ecosystem that taps into the full power of mentoring to take coaches from their first credential application to the realms beyond the MCC credential. Just take a look at this pathway: Start with group mentoring. Regardless of your credential level, this kind of observation- and feedback-based learning keeps your skills sharp. Get some individual mentoring. There's a reason why you need three hours of individual mentoring to apply for an ACC, PCC or MCC credential. Individual feedback really shifts the dial on your skills. Complete our Mentor Coach Training. Gain the knowledge, skills and strategies to deliver effective mentor coaching, and improve your own coaching by developing another coach. Participate in a Mentor Coach Practice Round. Once you've completed the training, put it to work with peers. Earn CCEs and take your coaching to the next level. Embark on our Recommended Mentor Pathway. Ready to supplement your coaching income through mentoring? We're happy to recommend our best mentors to other coaches. Join the Group Mentoring Team. This is where you experience next-level collaboration and collegial learning. Stay abreast of changes in the coaching landscape and work with colleagues of the highest calibre. At ReciproCoach, we see mentoring as a continuous development journey. It's not just about a credential. It's about lifelong learning, best practice and contribution. Because the best coaches aren't just mentored — they mentor. Here's to your growth as both coach and mentor, Kerryn Griffiths, PhD, PCCGlobal ReciproCoach Coordinator

Coaching is still a relatively young profession, and, not surprisingly, its landscape continues to evolve. Emerging trends and future directions are actively shaping the field, and it is important to stay abreast of these ongoing shifts in order to stay ahead of the game.   From the adoption of new coaching modalities and technologies to global variations in fee rates, attitudes towards continuing professional development, and beliefs about AI coaching, this month’s issue of Coaching Research in Practice draws on a very recent global study of the coaching landscape and offers a valuable benchmark for coaches worldwide.    Read the full article here.     Written by Kerryn Griffiths, PhD, PCC and Global ReciproCoach Coordinator

When we talk about professional development for coaches, we often focus on training, hours, and credentials. But there's another area that can have just as much impact, both on your coaching effectiveness and the success of your business. I'm talking about soft skills.Soft skills are the interpersonal, emotional and strategic abilities that enable corporate leaders, coaches, and just about any highly effective person to communicate clearly, lead effectively, manage complexity, and make decisions with confidence. These are the very skills most in demand in corporate coaching, and the same skills can have a remarkable influence on coaching success and business growth.IAPC&M-accredited Master Coach Monica Jonsson recognised the value of soft skills for both corporate leaders and coaches. To fill the gap, she developed The Complete Corporate Coaching Toolkit: The Quintessential Guide for 21st Century Business Coaches and Leaders, a companion to one-on-one coaching with executives ranging from CEO to manager level. Having a toolkit like this frees up valuable coaching time that is often spent revisiting the same soft skill themes. A tool used before or after a session supports continued reflection between sessions, deepens client awareness, and extends the reach of your coaching. And of course, when you coach others using these tools, you inevitably engage with them yourself, gaining all the benefits of increased self-awareness, personal efficiency, and business clarity. At ReciproCoach, we're big advocates for deepening coaching impact and supporting coaching business success. Because this book supports both, we have once again partnered with Monica to bring you The Corporate Coaching Toolkit Peer Coaching Round. Last year's participants said it was "the best one yet," and shared that they not only gained practical tools, but also experienced real transformation in themselves and their businesses. Read more about what this round includes, as well as more past participant testimonials here.  Even if you don't coach executives, Monica's toolkit covers the seven most in-demand soft skills in the business and corporate environment, with a suite of tools to develop each. Working through the book in peer coaching ensures you develop the soft skills you need to boost your business and come away with a practical toolkit you can use with clients in corporate or business settings.   (registrations close Sunday, October 26) I'll be honest. I'm not a corporate coach, and I've never had much interest in becoming one. But I participated in our very first Corporate Coaching Toolkit Peer Coaching Round last year, and I gained insight after insight from each session's tools, from the coaching I received, and also from the coaching I gave. I'm still benefiting from the learning and new habits I developed. Whether you currently coach in the corporate space, want to break into it, or simply want a reliable soft skills toolkit to use with your clients and for your own growth, this year's Complete Corporate Coaching Toolkit Reciprocal Peer Coaching Round is your opportunity to grow your coaching toolkit, your business, and yourself. Supporting coaching, coaches and their business growth, Kerryn Griffiths, PhD, PCC Global ReciproCoach Coordinator

Most of us assume we know what we sound like as coaches. We've studied the competencies, developed our own style, and perhaps even received direct feedback in mentoring. But what we think we say and do in coaching is not always the same as what we actually say and do. That, in turn, may differ again from what we aspire to say and do, or what we should be doing according to professional standards.   This issue of Coaching Research in Practice offers a rare, research-based look at precisely that. Based on a study conducted with ReciproCoach participants in our own Reciprocal Peer Coaching rounds, this article explores findings that move beyond theory, frameworks and ideals to show what coaches really do in practice, through in-depth analysis of their verbatim session recordings and transcripts.    Read the full article here.     All ReciproCoaches can access the full article for one week [here].     Written by Kerryn Griffiths, PhD, PCC and Global ReciproCoach Coordinator

It has long been argued that domain expertise isn’t essential to coaching success. Many coaches would agree that what matters in coaching isn’t what we know about the client’s world, but how well we support their thinking. As such, coaching efficacy has largely been attributed to craft, with little value placed on how much expertise or experience the coach brings to the client’s context.   Yet for many clients, a coach’s experience does matter, and it plays a subtle but significant role in how they choose, relate to, and engage with their coach. To better understand this dynamic, this issue of Coaching Research in Practice explores a recent study examining the perceived value of workplace experience among both clients and coaches.    Read the full article here.     All ReciproCoaches can access the full article for one week [here].     Written by Kerryn Griffiths, PhD, PCC and Global ReciproCoach Coordinator

Each year, we invite ReciproCoach members to contribute to our community, and in return, receive a ReciproCoach Professional, Coaching, Mentoring or Supervision Membership. It’s a win-win that helps keep ReciproCoach thriving as a community for coaches, by coaches. We’re now updating our list of reciprocal contributors for the next 12 months and calling for new and renewed expressions of interest. Some of the reciprocal roles available in the year ahead include: Group mentors Supervisors Proofreaders Website testers Coaches We can adjust your commitment to match the value of the membership you choose. Most roles involve approximately 5 to 7 hours of work. You can learn more about what each role involves here. To register your interest: Make sure your professional profile is up to date and that you have current approval to participate. Reply to this email and let us know: Which role(s) you’re interested in Any relevant experience or skills We’ll be in touch as opportunities arise to agree on a mutually convenient time. Your Reciprocal Membership will be granted after your contribution is complete. A few important notes: If you expressed interest last year but didn’t get the chance to contribute, please let us know again. Previous applications will not be carried over. If you contributed last year and would like to do so again, we welcome your support—whether in the same role or a different one. Now in its eighth year, the Reciprocal Memberships Program continues to be a cornerstone of our vision for a collaborative, coach-led community. We’re grateful to all who help keep ReciproCoach active, accessible and evolving. Looking forward to co-creating in the year ahead, Kerryn Griffiths, PhD, PCCGlobal ReciproCoach Coordinator

Are breakthroughs a normal part of your coaching, or rare, fleeting moments? MCC, Dr. Marcia Reynolds says breakthroughs should be expected, not extraordinary, and she explains exactly how to make breakthroughs your coaching norm in her latest book, Breakthrough Coaching: Creating Lightbulb Moments in Your Coaching Conversations. We all know Marcia as the author of Coach the Person, Not the Problem, perhaps the most recommended book among coaches. Breakthrough Coaching is the essential companion, whether you read it first or second. It guides coaches, from beginners to masters alike, through the breakthrough process from beginning to end, disrupting thinking, dissolving old stories, and creating transformational change. But it's not enough to simply read this book, so once again, we've designed a peer coaching experience around it. In our Breakthrough Coaching Peer Coaching Round, you'll spend six sessions with your assigned client DOING this book, and six sessions with your assigned coach EXPERIENCING this book. That's twelve sessions in total where you'll bring breakthroughs into your coaching norm, practicing breakthrough coaching session by session, with support, reflection, and feedback from your peer partners. If breakthroughs aren't yet a normal part of your coaching, this is your next step. Both participants and readers also have the opportunity to join an optional group mentoring or observer session with Marcia herself, to learn from her feedback on recorded sessions and live coaching demonstrations and ask your own questions. In Breakthrough Coaching, Marcia teaches us to become skilled thought disrupters. This is the difference between being proficient and being profound. Join us in making breakthroughs your coaching norm, Supporting coaches in thriving in business, Kerryn Griffiths, PhD, PCC Global ReciproCoach Coordinator

Equality is a core component of the coaching relationship. Equality is fostered as coaches and clients share responsibility for the coaching processes and the process of learning. Coaches are largely responsible for the major processes of listening, questioning and fostering accountability, while clients are responsible for reflecting, taking action and taking responsibility. In this way, equality is maintained in the coach-client relationship. Equality is also fostered through reciprocal learning in coaching sessions. As clients make discoveries, so too do their coaches. This is the nature of true curiosity. Clients are expected to discover their own answers, and this happens best when coaches truly do not know the answers to the questions they ask of their clients. Coaches and clients discover the answers together, thanks to the co-creative coaching partnership. This process also supports the creation of acceptance and non-judgement. By inviting clients to become involved in the coaching process and to discover their own answers, coaches are simply not required to make judgements. Another aspect of maintaining equality in the coach-client relationship involves the creation of a unique balance of distance and intimacy. As coaches, we need to be willing to show and share our personal sides when we consider it beneficial to our clients. Effective coaching conversations are warm, with the presence of emotion and there is a strong sense of honesty shared between coaches and clients. It is for this reason the coach-client relationship can be described as intimate. On the other hand, distance supports the processes of coaches listening, questioning and fostering accountability effectively, while friendliness and intimacy increases client trust in coaches and being honest, reflecting, taking action and taking responsibility. Therefore, the equal balance of distance and intimacy, in turn, supports the shared and equal process of coaching and learning. Despite the focus on equality throughout the coaching relationship, equality is generally perceived to be greater toward the end of coaching relationships. Coaches tend to employ more direction at the start of coaching, and gradually, through the process of coaching, the sense of equality is strengthened as clients become more aware of their role in the coaching process and begin to take responsibility by self-questioning, listening to themselves and holding themselves accountable. As a result, clients develop the ability to self-coach to some degree, and further their own self-learning in the absence of their coach. Reference: Griffiths, K. (2008). Discovering, applying and integrating self-knowledge: A grounded theory study of learning in life coaching (Ph.D). Centre for Learning Innovation, Queensland University of Technology.